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Tiger Gives Away Four, Yes Four Buicks

I don’t know when this first appeared, but a customer of mine from New York sent me this YouTube video of Tiger pulling a fast one on a bunch of unsuspecting golfers. The reason Tiger is so cool is that he appears to really have a great time giving these cars away. Thanks Richard for the link.

Video of Plane Trying to Land - Wow!

For those of us that travel by plane, a recent video of an A320 trying to land at the Hamburg, Germany airport in a crosswind, should give us pause when we complain how much airline pilots get paid. Pilots are known to say that flying is long periods of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror.

The plane you see did land safely in a later attempt.

I’m sure after you check out this video, you’d be the first person to offer that pilot a raise.

Who Wants to Own a Golf Equipment Company?

I wouldn’t.

Golf equipment isn’t a very good investment these days. Look at Callaway. It’s stock has dropped 20% since July ($15.71 vs. $19.49), Golfsmith has faired even worse crash-diving 47% ($5.77 vs $10.95).

Two articles came to my attention on the golf equipment business recently: Cleveland Sale Appears Imminent and Huffy Corporation Sells Tommy Armour. Both appeared in GolfWeek Business. For leveraged buyout groups like the one that is selling Cleveland and the sporting goods conglomerate that is unloading Tommy Armour, golf isn’t fitting into their idea of making a profit.

Quicksilver, the current owner of Cleveland because of its acquisition of Rossignol skis in 2005, wants to dump it because the parent took its first annual loss in 15 years. Huffy, which acquired Tommy Armour, TearDrop, Ram, and Zebra when it purchased extreme sports manufacturer Gen X in 2002, later emerged from bankruptcy in 2005 and no longer thought golf fit into its future plans. Rumors are that Cleveland could be a TaylorMadeAdidas target, but nothing is official.

Last year it was sporting good retailers consolidating. Is 2007 the year for golf equipment manufacturers?

Golf Gear News Writes 100th Blog Post

Wow! How time flies. I didn’t realize this but just last week I wrote my 100th blog post on Hardwoods Golf Course in Garrison, MN. Way back on 9/12/05, when I did the first one, I never expected to still be talking golf. Yet, here I am.

Viagra and Golf – Is Sex Worth the Sacrifice?

I was driving to a client’s office this morning and I heard a radio ad for Viagra and its claim that an estimated 17 million men have erectile dysfunction (ED). Yes, ED. I was shocked to hear that so many men can’t bring themselves to attention. I also didn’t know that we have an epidemic on our hands. According to Webster’s New World Medical Dictionary, an epidemic is defined as “the occurrence of more cases of a disease than would be expected in a community or region during a given time period.” How did our society reproduce with so many men that couldn’t get it up? Is there something in our water? I digress.

What struck me as quite interesting was that the ad closed with “…and see our ad in Golf Magazine.” That made me rise up in my seat. Why did the advertiser mention Golf Magazine as the only place where the print ad was running? Is there some sort of connection between ED and golf? Why didn’t they mention Forbes, Fortune or Maxim? What about Rolling Stone, Sports Illustrated or Science? Don’t any of these publications’ readers have ED? Is it only those who read Golf Magazine that have this dreaded disease?

Perhaps we should thrust ourselves into a deeper understanding of the connection between golf and ED? Yes, I think we should.

A quick check of Golf Magazine’s 2006 media kit is very telling:

95% of the readership is male – VERY MALE
They have an average net worth of over $1 million — RICH
They have an average household income of $148,000 — RICH
They have played golf an average of 25 years — OLD
They play an average of 58 rounds per year – PLAY LOTS OF GOLF
83% are professional or managerial – IN MANAGEMENT

What do we have: rich old male managers that play too much golf and according to Viagra, they have an ED problem. Clearly a target rich market.

So, I think the conclusion we can draw from this is that playing too much golf (58 rounds/year mind you) leads to ED and so your choices are:

A) Stop playing golf — NOT
B) Stop playing golf, take Viagra and still have sex - NOT
C) Keep playing golf, take Viagra and still have sex — POSSIBLE
D) Keep playing golf and stop having sex - ???

Hmmmm…. don’t rush me, I’m still thinking about it.

O’Grady is an Idiot if he Thinks Technology Makes Tiger Woods Great

This has to be a cry for help because this statement is just plain stupid: “When Nicklaus and Palmer played, when [Ben] Hogan played and Sam Snead played, on a scale of zero to 10, they were a nine-plus,” Mac O’Grady said. “Tiger Woods is not even a one-plus.”

Then, this dolt has to go out and show his continued ignorance by saying: “The reason why [Woods] can hit it on the green is because he has square grooves,” he said. “He doesn’t have that, he’s dead. He cannot do it — it’s impossible. For him to go after Nicklaus’s records is cheating. This is like steroids.”

I sense a touch of bitterness. Actually, I sense a lot of bitterness. Truckloads of it. This Mac O’Grady, a former PGA Tour player that to his credit won two tournaments, took 18 swings at qualifying in Q-school before he made it on tour. He adds to his madness by slapping the Champions Tour and calling them “powder-puff” players when he is probably of the age that he could be playing on this tour.

This must be a case of “negative publicity is better than no publicity at all” (a statement by Donald Trump) or someone who hasn’t taken his meds today because it surely can’t be based on any facts worth quoting.

To declare that technology is what has made Tiger Woods the world’s best golfer, and perhaps the best golfer of all time, is just plain ludicrous. It’s like saying that if I played a Steinway, I’d be just as good as Glenn Gould. If I fired up a piece of composing software I’d be better than Mozart or if I just had a better paintbrush I’d be just as good as Michelangelo.

Tiger Woods is a great golfer because he has the most talent, not the best equipment. Every golfer has access to top-of-the-line equipment. What they lack is Tiger’s tenacity, drive, endurance, and killer instinct. He overcomes adversity. He plays consistently while those around him collapse. He knows how to manage a course and when pushed, he closes the deal. Yet, he is human like all of us and doesn’t win every tournament.

If you want to see someone with lots of natural talent and the best equipment, look at how well Michelle Wie is playing today. In her case it clearly isn’t the paintbrush but the painter that is the problem.

What a pile of crap this O’Grady is spewing. I guess that it’s okay in today’s media world though because Ann Coulter or Paris Hilton can say anything they want and it is still considered news too.

Oh Michelle Wie, I’m So Sad for You…Not!

I was wondering if the Wie Circus could get any worse. Was I ever wrong.

Now remember, I predicted that this return was going to be a non-event.

In her inglorious return to competitive LPGA tournament play, the phenom, the queen of hype, Miss Sparkly herself Michelle Wie, has again tripped over her huge pile of endorsement cash and fell flat on her face (er..wrist). What a joke she has become.

When she quit the latest tournament she said to an LPGA Tour official: “We’re not going to play anymore.” Oh you big baby. Take it like a professional.

I thought that John Daly was becoming a mockery. Was I ever wrong. Michelle Wie has taken his exalted place.

Wie of the pending 88 before withdrawing after the 16th. Wie of the “poor me…it’s my wrist again” excuse. She has turned into a pathetic golfer and manufacturers almost as many excuses as she does strokes.

She had almost five months to recover from this alleged wrist injury. She got herself a new coach and was going to work hard and point herself in the right direction. She was ready to get out there and prove herself. I guess we discovered how well all that new coaching has worked.

In an earlier post I commented that her wrist injury was conveniently timed so she could gracefully get out of the spotlight after dismal finishes in a couple of men’s events. I was taken to task by a reader accusing me of saying that her wrist injury was faked. At the time, I vehemently denied it. Now, I believe she is faking.

Football players take two weeks off when they sprain an ankle. Basketball players gut it out, limp around and are back on the court after a few games (unless it is a high ankle sprain and then it could be forever). Even Annika Sorenstam, after having sat out with both a ruptured and bulging disc for two months, returned to shoot a round of 72.

What kind of wrist injury takes five months to heal unless you have surgery on it (which she didn’t). This isn’t an injury this is just cover. Her “injury” has now become a thinly-veiled excuse for playing badly. She’s really turned out to be a disappointment.

I thought I’d look back on years past and reminisce over a time when everything looked rosy, the world was Sparkly’s oyster and Ms. Wie’s endorsement contracts were rolling in. I credit the website www.jockbio.com for these quotes:

“I might go play the LPGA full-time and then, after I get better, go to the PGA full-time. Or just try to play both. It will be fun.” — That’s worked so well now hasn’t it?

“I don’t mind when I hit a ball in the woods. I think of it as an adventure. That’s when golf really starts to get interesting.” – What an adventure. It’s even more fun if it goes in the water.

“I enjoy the attention. I like the cameras. In a way, they make me play better.” — No question about it, the more face time you get, the better it seems to work.

“My favorite player is Tiger Woods. I think I can beat Tiger when I’m 20. It’s a life goal.” – Looking forward to it. I’ll put it on my calendar.

“My ultimate goal is to play in the Masters.” — Just like everyone else’s, but like us, you’ll never get there either.

Ah, the innocence of youth. I cry crocodile tears for you.

Why Bowling is Better than Golf

After an absolutely horrible round of golf. After you have thrown your clubs in the pond and stomped off the course vowing never to play the stupid game again. You can alway pick up another ball, hit the lanes and bowl. Why not? It’s got a lot of advantages:

-you don’t have to bring your own ball
-you don’t need 14 different clubs
-you don’t lose your ball in the woods
-you don’t need Sudafed because you’re allergic to cut grass
-you don’t have to wait for the beer cart girl
-one game costs $4 not $40
-you don’t need to pee behind a tree
-with bumpers you’ll never miss your target
-the higher your score the BETTER you did
-you get to wear cool shoes that only cost $2 to rent
-you don’t even have to keep score, it’s done for you
-a gutter ball is part of the game, and out-of-bounds is not
-you don’t have to get up early to get a good lane
-you don’t have to talk quietly when someone is bowling
-its okay to wear matching shirts
-you can have nicknames on your shirt like: Fats, Shorty or Tiny
-there are no club memberships to pay
-it never claims to be a form of exercise
-there is no dress code, as long as you wear shoes
-you can still play when it rains
-you don’t have to watch it on TV when you should be playing

According to the National Sporting Goods Association (NSGA), in 2006, at 44.8 million, Bowling ranks as the 4th most popular participatory sport and Golf, at 24.4 million, is ranked #16. Embarrasingly, golf lags behind sports like Fishing (#6), Weight Lifting (#10) and Billiards (#11).

Which sport ranks in last place (#41)???

Ice Hockey.

At least we still have another sport to kick around.

Minnesota Golfers Come Out of Hibernation, Squint Into the Sun and See….

…a new golf season.

Each year, Minnesota golfers, looking like speared white whales, waddle onto the first tee, take a few practice swings, and launch our best drives of the year….or maybe not.

If you like dodging snow patches, last year’s goose droppings, singed brown greens and dead grass fairways then Minnesota golf in March will be your cup of tee.

It’s March 23rd and snow is still on the ground, but Minnesota golf courses are starting to open. I know that folks in Florida, Texas or Arizona are reading this with a blank stare, but you have to understand how golfers in Minnesota suffer. We are forced to put our clubs on a shelf from around Thanksgiving until Easter.

While we wait out the winter season, we only get to dream of the warm summer days when we played 36 holes late into the evening or the 5 AM tee time when we were the only ones on the course. Our pain continues when we are forced to watch Tiger, Phil and VJ play wonderful courses in golf paradises like Hawaii, California and Florida, while the only club we get to play with is our shovel.

When we finally get our chance, we expect that we’re going to shoot our best round of the year right off the bat. Remember that 79? Well, we should be just as good today as we were last October. Our skills can’t have atrophied over the last five months because of all the perfect shots we dreamt about. Why hit the driving range or the simulator and work on our skills? What a waste of time. All we need to do is remember what we did in late August.

Minnesotans only have seven months to play the game we love while much of the rest of the golfing world can spend most of the year wearing short sleeves and playing the newest driver hot off the store shelf the day it comes out. Even if we get a new Callaway FT-i Driver for Christmas, we can only look at it, in all its $499 glory, and dream how it is going to feel when we smack that first drive on #1. Is there no wonder why we have one of the highest numbers of golf courses per capita?

We don’t have the luxury to wait two weeks to get on our favorite course in Minnesota. If we do, our season could be over.

Why Can’t There be a Double Standard in Golf?

The official keepers of the Rules of Golf are The United States Golf Association (USGA) for the United States and the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews in Europe. Periodically they come out with ways to make the game more frustrating.

The latest is a potential rule change for the grooves on the face of an iron clubhead. The Royal and Ancient takes issue with U-grooves, which according to an article in the Scotsman, “the combination of U-grooves and thin covered balls have enabled elite players to spin approach shots from the rough - thereby minimizing the importance of driving accuracy in the modern game.”

Their objection seems to be in part a desire to protect the purity of the game. According to David Rickman, the Royal and Ancient’s director of rules and equipment standards, “while there may have been different speeds for different parts of the game, ultimately it all comes together. The Royal and Ancient has existed for more than 250 years and, during that time, we’ve played under one set of rules for everyone.”

Let’s all dress up like Tevye the Milkman in Fiddler on the Roof and sing about Tradition.

What’s wrong with a double standard in golf?

I will never play well enough to compete at an elite level. More likely, I will never play well enough to break 75. Thus, I will never be considered an “elite” player. Is it going to make any difference to me or the millions of hack golfers like me to be concerned about my “non-conforming” U-groove iron face?

Establishing two levels of equipment is known as the bifurcation of the game. This is a nasty word that gives rank amateurs like most of us as much opportunity to enjoy the game as we can.

In reality, what do we enjoy more: the ability to shoot 2-3 strokes better because our equipment is “non-conforming” according to the USGA and the Royal and Ancient or being true to the game and shooting another dismal 94?

I’ll take shooting a few strokes better on my favorite course, thereby beating my playing partners and winning the pot, over the psychic scars that I’ll get dealing with my moral “non-conforming” club selection quandary any day.

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